Week 1 Weigh In

So the results are in!
3.4kg loss!

My round 3, 12wbt Starting Stats

So the time has finally come to expose my stats!

My official before photo will have to be something kept between Mish and I for now. I still don’t feel I can show the world but hopefully I will feel I can do it soon. For now everyone will just have to watch my shrinking Mii and I will let you see my clothed before photos. I can’t wait to get my photo with Mish again to see the difference!

Weight: 118.5kg

Chest: 126cm

Waist: 120cm

Widest: 134cm

L Thigh: 76cm

R Thigh: 76cm

A little about me - Part 6 - The Wedding

Depsite all the drama going on with Daisy the wedding went ahead. Mum picked me up from hospital on the Friday morning and we went off to the markets to get some flowers. I was so excited to find that day they had the exact flowers I wanted! LUCKY!

My best friend and I sat at mums place all afternoon finishing table decorations and making all the flowers.

The day was beautiful, though I missed Daisy. It was great to have my morning with Jack though. I had missed him so much while I’d been in hospital. He got all dressed up in his little suit and new black shoes.

Everything went off almost without a hitch except I didn’t put the cd in my wedding music cd case…duh! That’s ok we had some back ups but I just didn’t get to walk down the isle to the music I wanted.

I guess the one thing that did bother me the whole day was how I looked, especially now looking back at the photos all my smiles were so fake and not cause I wasn’t happy about being married but I just felt so uncomfortable the whole day. I loved my hair when I got it done but it all dropped by the time I got to the ceremony, My dress didn’t end up fitting perfectly and was to big on top I had to stuff my already E cup bra with hubby’s socks so it filled the dress out properly. My face looks all chubby in the photos and most of them have never been printed.

I’d love to get another photo shoot done with hubby once I have lost weight.

We never got to go on a proper honeymoon.

(Photos to be uploaded soon)

A little about me - Part 5 - Life isn't always fair

It was 1 week until our wedding day and also Easter Saturday 2010. We had been planning decorations, i had been baking my wedding cake and making the table gifts. Daisy had been cranky all morning so we spent the day at mums house so i could have some help while hubby was at work. Thats afternoon I thought i would give her a bath to try and calm her down and while taking off her clothes she screamed and screamed. It wasn't the same whingy scream. It was pain then i noticed she wasn't moving her leg and everytime i touched it she screamed again. I decided it was time for a trip to emergancy. I know it is just their job to ask questions but i was made to feel so guilty there like i had done something wrong. questions after questions like i had done something to my 3 week old baby.
After hours and hours of test we were sent home on Sunday morning....easter Sunday. Daisy was still in pain everytime i touched her...surely that is enough to see something is wrong?
On Easter monday i got a phone call to bring her back to hospital straight away because one of her blood test showed something and they needed to re-do it.
That was the last time Daisy would be home for 6 weeks. On the Wednesday, 3 days before our wedding day, Daisy was diagnosed with Osteomylitis (a bone infection) in her femur. It meant 5 weeks of IV antibiotics in hospital.
I will post about the wedding seperately, YES it did go ahead without my beautiful little girl there. The doctor said they could have organised for her to be there but i just didn't think i could handle the stress of seeing her there. The nurses were amazing and looked after her for the whole weekend for me and hung her dress up and wrote me a beautiful note.
Over the next 5 weeks i watched Daisy grow from her hospital cot. She learnt to smile and chatter and was a hit with all the nurses. By about the second week she was able to move her leg without pain and i could finally hold her again without being worried about where to hold.
While in hospital we battled reflux, lactose intolorence which then turned into milk protien intolerance.
Over the next year Daisy would refuse milk of any kind and i was lucky to get 1 bottle down her a day.....now at 18months she demands milk every second of the day!

                                                   Daisy's first day on her IV at hospital

The nurses left this for me when i arrived back from the wedding

Jack alway loved his sister even though she wasn't home

A little about me - Part 4 - We’re Engaged...Uhhh Ohhh

Ok I admit we already bought the ring before we got engaged. Infact we actually bought it before we had Jack…I’d been waiting and waiting and waiting. Maybe I did pressure him into it but common we owned a house and had a beautiful baby. He gave me my ring New Year 2008/2009…..of course I wanted to start planning this wedding now!! I didn’t wanna rush him so I planned it for April 2010. I thought surely that’s enough time to get ourselves together. I was back at work now and we could save some money and have a nice honeymoon….well plans do change don’t they! In August 2009 SURPRISE….we’re pregnant again….due March 2010!

I think at this point I didn’t quite get the excitement of having another baby….all I could think was what about the wedding?!

I had done so much preparation and paid so much off for the wedding already we made the decision not to change the date. Crazy…YES!

At my first Obstitrition appointment I was 12 weeks gone and 113kg. I thought that’s it I have to find a dress. I knew I had to stay this weight. I couldn’t be looking for a dress 2 weeks before my wedding cause I’d be stuck with something I didn’t like. I looked and looked and found the perfect dress for my 113kg. I really did try hard with my weight this pregnancy. I opted for another c-section this time around so was booked in for 10 March 2010 exactly 1 month before the wedding!

10 March 2010 we welcomed Daisy Lil to the world.

From what I can remember I was 120kg that morning and after my week in hospital I was 112kg! I was so so excited.

The day after I left hospital it was time to get my wedding dress! PERFECT!

A little about me - Part 3 - Success & Suprises

I started May 2007 at 102kg. I had done it before so I had the right ideas and the motivations to keep doing it. I was so organised and even though we were living with my parents at the time I still just made all my own meals and bought some of my own food to make sure I stuck to it. I started doing group classes at the gym. I was so nervous and embarrassed about being there. I would hide myself down the back of the room so no one could see me and my wobbly body.

I hadn’t lost a large amount of weight so I started doing more gym work and got myself a personal trainer in Oct 2007. I got so much more energy and strength and the weight seemed to drop more and I felt great. By Christmas 2007 I was going to the gym at least 6 times a week sometimes twice a day (ahhh the days before kids!). I was bench pressing 80kg and doing 120kg leg presses!! In February 2008 I had 2 massive events..i reached 79.8kg…the lowest I had ever weighed in my life and about 9-12kg from goal….the week after I found we were pregnant. We were so exited and happy until I had to book in a dating scan and all those memories came flooding back….with that came the food.

I never told anyone how I felt during my pregnancy….maybe now is a good time. I was anxious, stressed….maybe I did have some sort of depression, i guess I’ll never know. I ate and ate and ate. I didn’t matter how many times I got told my baby was fine, in the back of my mind I had lost a baby before. When I was 30 weeks I was told I would probably have to have a c-section. At 34 weeks I was ordered to leave work, stay home and was booked for a c-section at 38 weeks because bub was transverse and not progressing into position….i probably didn’t tell my OB that I was actually moving house at 34 weeks! At this point I didn’t know my weight….i had refused to look at the scale in the last few weeks but I know the last time I did look I was 115kg…….i had gained about 40kg in only 6 months

10 September 2008 we welcomed Jack Wesley into the world. He was here…healthy…10 fingers, 10 toes and was absolutely perfect. I always look back now at my eating through my pregnancy and think…ok I wasn’t doing myself good, but maybe if I hadn’t had maccas every other day for breakfast then my baby may have been different?? Maybe better yes but who knows maybe worse? All I know is he is here and perfect.

A little about me - Part 2 - I blamed myself

I think when we met I must have been about 90-100kg. I pretty much hung around there after we had met. 6 months after we had met I discovered I was pregnant….wow SHOCK! It was scary & exciting at the same time. At the time I was working away at the mines so was only home every second weekend for 3 days. After we got over the shock I was excited. I think he was too. We were all booked in for what was going to be our 12 week scan according to my dates, and couldn’t wait to go. I didn’t know what to expect to be looking at when we got there. The lady didn’t really say anything during the ultra sound, she just took some pictures, measurements and didn’t say a word. Then the words that no one wants to hear…sorry there is no heatbeat.  I was measuring 8 weeks and had no physical signs of miscarriage. I was rushed back to my GP who rushed me and appointment with an Obstitrition. I had a d&c that same afternoon and had to stay overnight because I had excessive bleeding. It all just happened so fast I don’t think either of us had time to let it sink in. I had got an infection which ended up with me having a second operation with key hole surgery.

It doesn't matter how many people will say there is nothing i could have done, it's not my fault etc. i have always blamed myself and my weight for losing our baby. I felt alone and didn't know what else to do. No one ever asked how i felt and if i was ok or if they could do anything for me. Everyone acted like nothing had even happened. I was determind in my own mind that i would never let this happen again (still blaming my weight) so i decided that was it. As soon as i got the all clear from my Operations i joined the gym and i joined Weight Watchers and so began my first serious attempt at weightloss and exercise.....